MICHELANGELO'S DAVID: 0 Degrees of Separation
CONTENTS:
(1) THE GRIM REAPER COMES TO SELFIE HELL
(2) SPIRIT OF THE BUNKER
(3) AN INVITATION TO THE GALLERIA DELL'ACCADEMIA (not to be confused with "The David Museum")
(1) THE GRIM REAPER COMES TO SELFIE HELL
Michelangelo's David is an amazing thing.
Or so they say. Not that anyone has actually seen it in recent decades.
Quiet contemplation?
Not a chance!
Hordes of camera-slingers cut in between you and the David —in almost any season, at almost any time of day.
Meanwhile, the main gallery of the Accademia is a vast echo chamber —not helped by guards shouting for people to keep their voices down.
The statue is set on a high pedestal. So it can be seen —or selfied —from far away.
If you treasure the illusion of zoom intimacy and if you don't mind turning your back on the object you traveled hundreds or thousands of miles to admire.
The David has been memed halfway to hell and back.
It lives on a planet of its own— beyond art, beauty and irony.
"Come!", it whispers, "Elbow a path through the mob! Add your own little crumb to the heap!"
Choose your favorite body part!
Dazzle yourself with wit, insight and originality!
Then go home and pretend that you actually saw the thing (which you obviously didn't).
(2) SPIRIT OF THE BUNKER
FOR MORE ABOUT LIFE IN FLORENCE IN THE TIME OF COVID, SEE:
PLAGUE DIARY
There isn't much for which we can thank the Global Pandemic.
It killed millions, gutted downtown cities and made everyone gain weight.
In Florence, the COVID quarantine was intense and then some, lasting for many months.
Museums and other public attractions slammed shut.
Tourists disappeared in a puff of smoke, devastating the local economy.
Daily life was utterly miserable for the captive population, relieved only by native resilience and cynical humor (Florence being Florence, after all).
Then came a magic moment... A glimmer of light... A veritable spring thaw... albeit an illusory one, since COVID wasn't done with us yet.
Museums started reopening in fits and starts. Sure, there were the inevitable rituals of masking, hand washing and social distancing.
But—in this quintessential museum city— switching on the lights in the Uffizi, Palazzo Pitti, Palazzo Vecchio, the Bargello and the Opera del Duomo was a blessed release and a vital connection to past normalcy.
It took a while for the memo to go out to tourists around the world (and even across Italy).
So—for a few brief weeks —locals could dive into the "Michelangelo Experience", the "Botticelli Experience", the "Brunelleschi Experience" and so on— with unencumbered space and relative quiet.
Also, for a brief blessed moment...
Botticelli's Primavera in the Uffizi —a few days after I visited Michelangelo's David.
(3) AN INVITATION TO THE GALLERIA DELL' ACCADEMIA (not to be confused with "The David Museum")
The Galleria dell' Accademia in Florence is one of the world's great art museums —but it could easily die with that secret.
In addition to the infinitely bucket-listed you-know-what, the Galleria houses a vast and varied collection which almost no one thinks to see.
This includes the historic patrimony of Florence's principal art school and a breath-taking range of works deposited there over the centuries, mostly from suppressed religious institutions.
We encounter stunning masterpieces (including some of the most gorgeous gold-grounds in town), but also an intriguing range of quirks and oddities—pictures that make us rethink everything we know.
Bursts of brilliant accomplishment by allegedly "minor" painters... Eccentric deviations by art historical celebrities... Nameless one-offs by the "Master of X", the "Master of Y" and their ilk.
In a word, the Galleria dell'Accademia is the most schizophrenic of museums —beloved by connoisseurs and...well..."not connoisseurs".
What would it take for the authorities to liberate the Accademia and shift THE DAVID... someplace else?
Everyone would be happier! And it wouldn't be the first time...
With modern technology, it sounds like a no-brainer to me!
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***
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***
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, whether in marble, bronze, fiberglass or human flesh.
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***
Intimate apparel by way of Trippa alla Fiorentina, from Piazza della Signoria to Piazzale Michelangelo to Via Gioberti.
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Let’s count the degrees of separation—from here back to the original.
***
Michelangelo Fusion in Piazza della Signoria.
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